Timsanity! 9 Ways NYC Will Change Tim Tebow
Posted on March 21, 2012 by Lena & Jules
Timsanity has landed in the Big Apple. Tim Tebow as the newest New York Jet will not only cause a stir on his new team, but require a major adjustment to his personal life. It takes a while for even the biggest superstar to earn the official right to be called a “New Yorker”. We’ll be watching as the holy spirit of football merges with a city of nearly 8 million people, most of whom have more important things to think about. We wish Tebow a warm welcome to his new home and offer these 9 predictions on how NYC will change him (for the better):
9. Bromance will Blossom
Now in the same city, Tebow and Lin can take their budding relationship from texting to in-person visits.
8. He’ll Get Street Smart
Tim will learn his lesson after getting jumped for pulling out his iPhone or Tebowing in the wrong neighborhood after dark.
7. He’ll Get a Cherry Bomb
Even if you believe that Tebow is still a virgin, that won’t last long in NYC. In this town your cherry gets lost at La Guardia airport along with your luggage.
6. He Will Ask if there Really is a God
Rush hour tunnel traffic or just one ride on a packed subway next to a vomiting accordion player will make Tebow question his faith.
5. He’ll Become a Godfather in Jersey
Tebow is an obvious choice to bring salvation to the vodka tainted unborn child of Snooki, due this fall.
4. He’ll Find Out Denver Doesn’t Matter
Since New Yorkers don’t care about anything outside the five boroughs (New Jersey is even a stretch), Tebow will have to prove himself on home soil before he’s embraced.
3. He’ll Get Some Style
One can only hope that someone, maybe Sean Avery? Tim Gunn? The Naked Cowboy? takes Tim shopping for some suits that don’t look like they were borrowed from Dr. Phil.
2. He’ll Learn How to Talk Dirty
Rex Ryan will show Tebow how to swear and maybe even a few freaky things you can do with a woman’s foot.
1. He Won’t Be the Biggest Star in Town
Praying on a football field will only get you so far in a town with the biggest baseball legend in history, a new basketball sensation and oh yeah, all the other famous people that already live here.
NCAA Basketball Championship Monday April 2nd 8pmET
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